The Residue on My Paddle

I have been writing a lot this summer about change and transition. It has been the focus of the Red Kayak Institute retreats this year in an attempt to help our retreaters process and move through changes in their lives. It has also been a huge part of my life this year, as I shift and move in new directions.An essential part of change and transition is letting go of the old. Often, this is the most difficult part for most of us – giving up something familiar for something unknown. Too many times, we try, whether knowingly or not, to move through to the new while holding on to a part of the old. In softball we’d say, it’s like trying to steal second base with your foot still on first. In kayaking, I call it the residue on my paddle.

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At first, as we are unhooking from the old, there are remnants all around, outlived parts of our lives scattered about. Is it all ours or do they belong to others? We start the process of identifying what is holding us back. We begin our way through it and it is hard to tell where our new “paddle” begins and where all the old residue ends. We try to separate, but initially it all blends together.

Slowly, our paddle raises but there are strands of the old hanging on, wanting to drag along and stay connected. Don’t we all know this? How heavy does this make our paddle, carrying old stuff? Things we should let go of but somehow, we keep holding on to them. What purpose do they serve?

Eventually, we continue on our journey and work through our transition, that inner realignment that must accompany any change for it to have lasting hold. We see a scant remainder of the old. Maybe a few little remnants that still need some processing. Little bits of “something” that cling.

Finally, the last remaining piece is gone, and our paddle is clean, ready to etch the new beginning into our lives. The ripples on the water are smiling. The paddle is lighter and we are now ready for this new found freedom. We have done the work of letting go of endings, processing the transition and opening to the unlived!
Keep paddlin’ on…a wonderful new chapter awaits!

What residue is on your paddle?

What work do you need to do to release it?

Meditate on how good it will feel to shed these old remnants and embrace the new! See yourself as already having done it and pay attention to the lightness you experience.

Mary Anne

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